We're trying very hard to make a baby, but my body is just not cooperating. I have a condition called PCOS. I didn't even know it existed until my doctor diagnosed me. Basically, it means I rarely if ever ovulate. Fortunately, a change in my diet, acupuncture, Chinese herbs and supplements have all contributed to some positive changes in my body. I am hopeful that motherhood is in the cards for me someday, but I suppose it's not God's timing for me yet. I have always wanted to be a mother, and I pray that it will happen for me soon.
I wasn't sure whether or not I should share such personal information here since usually my posts are pretty lighthearted: nostalgia for Switzerland, tidbits from weekend trips here and there, my passion for Fair Trade and resale/thrift/vintage, etc. I decided to divulge because I wanted to talk about infertility some place other than one of those mommy blogs or forums. Not because I don't appreciate those sites (they're quite helpful, though sometimes a little overwhelming with so many acronyms to learn: BD is baby dance, TTC is trying to conceive, OPK is ovulation prediction kit, HPT is home pregnancy test, BFP is Big Fat Positive and the list goes on). It's just that this blog is about my life and now all of a sudden fertility, or lack thereof, is a big part of my life. Plus, pretty much everyone at work already knows about it because I just got so sick and tired of everyone asking me when we were going to have a baby.
Fertility stuff is in my face every day. Every morning I take my temperature. Twice a day I take prenatal vitamins, fish oils and herbal supplements to balance my hormones. I don't eat soy, gluten, dairy (except for BUTTER, I can't live without BUTTER), sugar or caffeine. I can only have a couple of fruit servings a day. I eat lots of vegetables, eggs, and meat. We buy organic, free-range, grass-fed as much as possible. I cook dinner every week night. The past 4 months have involved a huge lifestyle change, not to mention I lost my dad only 8 months ago and we're trying to buy a house.
When did life get so complicated?
I don't even know if teaching is my calling. Needless to say, I've been feeling a little lost lately, but I know I'll get through it all. This is the girl who decided in 9th grade that she was going to attend NYU and made it happen. She's the girl who decided she wanted to spend the summer in Italy for free and lined up a nanny gig to hang out with an adorable 3-year-old along the shores of Lago di Garda. She's in here somewhere -- she just needs a little more time to find herself again.