A Breastfeeding Story: His Version

I'm not posting this to be silly but rather to point out that our partners are also affected by the new breastfeeding relationship between mother and baby. I think it's important to allow that perspective to have a voice, especially since Isaiah is my biggest breastfeeding advocate! (He thinks the slogan "Breast is best" is dull and it should be "The tit -- that's it.") I feel a bit ashamed to admit that I had never even asked Isaiah how he felt about the whole thing until now. I asked him to read yesterday's post and tell me his opinion. The following is loosely based on his response.

Note: He is a former sailor, and his potty mouth reflects that, so instead of typing it out, just imagine the f-bomb sprinkled between every two or three words...

Those first few weeks were a g-damn nightmare. How come you didn't write about how we had to use wet rags to wake up the baby so he would eat? Here we are with this tiny little baby we love so much, and we have to torture it to get it to eat. You didn't even talk about how we had to fill those g-damn syringes with breastmilk and feed it to the baby and yank on his arm and wipe him with cold rags and force him to drink the milk. Then you had to pump and after that clean all the equipment to start all over again in like an hour. We had no idea that it would take almost two hours to do a feeding and that you have to do it every three hours, start to start. 

That time in the hospital was such a blur. And after having to sleep on the floor that last night, at least I got to have a pancake breakfast the next morning. Even though things are not perfect right now, it's a thousand times better than those first few weeks.

Wow! Right? It didn't even occur to me to mention all those details about trying to wake the baby to eat, but that's what stuck with Isaiah. I think I know why. Those first few weeks were the only time he really got to be actively involved in the breastfeeding relationship. He held warm compresses against my breasts when they were engorged. He helped me keep the baby awake. He washed all the pump parts for me so I could get a little rest. Once things got better, I didn't need him so much. Now the extent of his involvement is bringing the baby to me when it's time to feed him. Sure, he's my cheerleader, and he'll give Hunter a bottle, but really he's an outsider. He doesn't know what it's like to bond with Hunter in this way.

***I'm sorry you can't really participate in our breastfeeding relationship, babe, but thanks for believing in us. That this is the best thing for our family. For driving in traffic to get to the only pediatric dentist on the west coast who will perform laser frenotomy on babies with lip ties. And for sharing my boobies with Hunter ;)***


  1. Wow! I lovvvve this story!! It's so true. It's hard to know what the dads go through because most don't express their feelings about such things but it really is hard for them too.

  2. ha, yah....poor mark was totally freaked out with breastfeeding when I did it at the beginning...i was exhausted and weepy and depressed .... the time involved was insane! he was all on board when i switched to formula...i think he was more relieved, ha!


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